Gleam of Hope
by stilljustme
Summary: Jastrid Fluff, set around "Enemy of my Enemy". Not all adventures require superior powers.


**This scene (and "** _ **Halo**_ **" by Beyoncé accompanying it) came up right after watching „Enemy of my Enemy", and wouldn't leave me. Later I found there actually is a youtube-clip with the song… which encouraged me to post it. Please tell me what you think and, more important for sure,  
enjoy. Set somewhere between ep.15 and 16.**

 _Remember those walls I built?  
Well, baby, they're tumbling down  
And they didn't even put up a fight  
They didn't even make a sound _

He hadn't thought much when he'd offered Stephen to watch over Astrid.  
That was… yes he had. He had thought about the old man from the kiosk. John didn't remember his name, he probably had never known it, but he would never forget the fear on his face.

He had done nothing wrong. He'd only been nice to a prowling, lonely boy. Just _nice_ … it had been enough for Ultra. They had shot the man in cold blood, right there in the street.  
The anger about it had been the first step of resistance against Ultra, an anger that was still following John.  
But not as adamantly as the guilt. He tried to hide it from Cara – she already knew too much about him, about wounds and weaknesses, and sometimes he couldn't understand how she still believed in him – but guilt had long become a part of him.  
He hadn't pulled the trigger on the old man, but Roger… his blood was on John's hands alone.  
And there were too many others, too many he hadn't been able to protect…

Astrid would be alright. John promised it both Stephen and himself. She would be safe, no matter what.

 _I found a way to let you in  
But I never really had a doubt_

The promise had been put to the test – and faster than any of them had expected. Ultra did not waste time. And he had found himself on a little table in a dusty store room. A bullet in his flesh, waves of pain rolling over his body. No way out.  
And right above him, a beautiful, scared, determined face. Astrid.

 _Standing in the light of your halo  
I got my angel now_

Her voice had kept him conscious, and therefore alive: dark, gentle, intense. They had saved each other's' lives that day.  
And for the first time for a long time, John had had a feeling of what "life" could really mean.

 _It's like I've been awakened  
Every rule I had you break it' _

"What are you thinking?" Triumphantly holding up two bottles of organic iced tea, Astrid sat down next to him – just as if they'd known each other since forever. John couldn't have stopped smiling even if he wanted to, and as she handed him the bottle he cupped her hand for a moment.  
"To the good old times."  
"Sure." Astrid frowned but nodded. "What good old times exactly?"  
"Ours. The audition." Realizing he was still smiling, John forced himself to look away. His glance fell on the bottle. "No sugar, preservatives, artificial color or flavors." He shook his head to have anything to do. She made him nervous, though John was sure she didn't want to. It was very likely she had no idea what she was doing to him, having been in love with Stephen all the time and him being oblivious to it.  
Some people couldn't be helped.  
"Wow… what is _left_ in that drink?"

Astrid wouldn't be distracted. "Ours? I don't know what you think to remember but that day was definitely not what I'm going to tell my children for a bedtime story."  
Oh yes… children. "Two girls, one boy" John remembered. "Don't you want to tell them some adventure stories? You saved my life that day!"  
"Are you serious?" Astrid stared at him. "John, we could have died! You… you almost did die!"  
"But I didn't, did I? And that's because of you." John smiled reassuringly, trying to comfort her. It was obvious that the memories of that day still scared Astrid, and it was hard to resist the temptation of putting his arm around her.

 _It's the risk that I'm taking_

He was scared she would push him away.

 _I ain't never gonna shut you out_

"I'd be dead without you", he said gently. "Thank you."  
Astrid shook her head again, and suddenly John recognized the expression in her face.  
Guilt.  
"John, you wouldn't even be in that situation if it wasn't for me. I mean, come on, all of this was… I don't know… if I…"

"If you what? Gone right to Ultra, reporting you were a witness?" John realized how loud his voice had become. It shivered slightly, like his hands when he put them on the girl's shoulders and turn her towards him.

"Astrid, listen to me. Nothing that happened that day had anything to with you. Nothing was your fault. If anything, Stephen should have been more careful, but this… he couldn't have foreseen this, either. And he surely didn't want it. That is Ultra. They want to kill you, they want to kill Stephen and me and all the people you saw. For no reason but who we are. It's not your fault. Never." He quickly let go of Astrid's shoulders and reached for her hands instead.

She squeezed them lightly. "Thank you."  
"I'm serious." He was calm again. "This fight's started way before we were born. You shouldn't have been part of it but now you are. I'm sorry for that. But I'm happy I was there that day." He smiled, and after a moment Astrid gave in and smiled back, a smile that warmed him up thoroughly.

"I won't let anything happen to you. I promise. Okay?"  
Astrid's smile widened. "Okay." Then it was her turn to avert his glance and stare at the bottle. "Even with probably really disgusting ice tea?"  
John laughed. "Even then!" He opened his bottle and held it up. "To the good old times!"

"Alright!" Astrid sighed, her cheeks a soft shade of red. "Isn't there anything less bloody to drink to?"  
"Less bloody? Let me think…" John's voice stalled. Actually, there weren't that many good memories in the past months. He liked Stephen, but his breaking out and joining the tomorrow people had complicated everything.

"Please tell me there is something!"

John grimaced. "I'm still thinking about it."  
"God, John!" Astrid looked at him, shocked. Then the horror turned to sympathy. "Your life must be… how do you get through all of this? How can you still be so strong?"

John bit his lips. Sometimes he was asking himself the same question.  
Sometimes he knew.

"There are gleams of hope" he said quietly and looked at her. Astrid blushed as she understood, and smiled even more. "Then… to the gleams of hope?"  
"To the gleams of hope."

 _Everywhere I'm looking now  
I'm surrounded by your embrace  
Baby, I can see your halo  
You know you're my saving grace _

Two seconds later, John jumped up, brown liquid splattering onto the couch. "God, Astrid, you wanna kill me?"


End file.
